:::Men's Rules:::

[pHpLords.Net]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[epimeth]

truth...


except for one thing... geeks see in 16777216 colors... of which we know 140 names:
aliceblue (#F0F8FF)
antiquewhite (#FAEBD7)
aqua (#00FFFF)
aquamarine (#7FFFD4)
azure (#F0FFFF)
beige (#F5F5DC)
bisque (#FFE4C4)
black (#000000)
blanchedalmond (#FFEBCD)
blue (#0000FF)
blueviolet (#8A2BE2)
brown (#A52A2A)
burlywood (#DEB887)
cadetblue (#5F9EA0)
chartreuse (#7FFF00)
chocolate(#D2691E)
coral(#FF7F50)
cornflowerblue (#6495ED)
cornsilk(#FFF8DC)
crimson(#DC143C)

(at this point I got tired of reformatting the paste...)

cyan(#00FFFF) darkblue(#00008B) darkcyan(#008B8B) darkgoldenrod (#B8860B)
darkgray (#A9A9A9) darkgreen(#006400) darkkhaki(#BDB76B) darkmagenta (#8B008B)
darkolivegreen (#556B2F) darkorange
(#FF8C00) darkorchid
(#9932CC) darkred
(#8B0000)
darksalmon
(#E9967A) darkseagreen
(#8FBC8B) darkslateblue
(#483D8B) darkslategray
(#2F4F4F)
darkturquoise
(#00CED1) darkviolet
(#9400D3) deeppink
(#FF1493) deepskyblue
(#00BFFF)
dimgray
(#696969) dodgerblue
(#1E90FF) firebrick
(#B22222) floralwhite
(#FFFAF0)
forestgreen
(#228B22) fuchsia
(#FF00FF) gainsboro
(#DCDCDC) ghostwhite
(#F8F8FF)
gold
(#FFD700) goldenrod
(#DAA520) gray
(#808080) green
(#008000)
greenyellow
(#ADFF2F) honeydew
(#F0FFF0) hotpink
(#FF69B4) indianred
(#CD5C5C)
indigo
(#4B0082) ivory
(#FFFFF0) khaki
(#F0E68C) lavender
(#E6E6FA)
lavenderblush
(#FFF0F5) lawngreen
(#7CFC00) lemonchiffon
(#FFFACD) lightblue
(#ADD8E6)
lightcoral
(#F08080) lightcyan
(#E0FFFF) lightgoldenrodyellow
(#FAFAD2) lightgreen
(#90EE90)
lightgrey
(#D3D3D3) lightpink
(#FFB6C1) lightsalmon
(#FFA07A) lightseagreen
(#20B2AA)
lightskyblue
(#87CEFA) lightslategray
(#778899) lightsteelblue
(#B0C4DE) lightyellow
(#FFFFE0)
lime
(#00FF00) limegreen
(#32CD32) linen
(#FAF0E6) magenta
(#FF00FF)
maroon
(#800000) mediumaquamarine
(#66CDAA) mediumblue
(#0000CD) mediumorchid
(#BA55D3)
mediumpurple
(#9370DB) mediumseagreen
(#3CB371) mediumslateblue
(#7B68EE) mediumspringgreen
(#00FA9A)
mediumturquoise
(#48D1CC) mediumvioletred
(#C71585) midnightblue
(#191970) mintcream
(#F5FFFA)
mistyrose
(#FFE4E1) moccasin
(#FFE4B5) navajowhite
(#FFDEAD) navy
(#000080)
oldlace
(#FDF5E6) olive
(#808000) olivedrab
(#6B8E23) orange
(#FFA500)
orangered
(#FF4500) orchid
(#DA70D6) palegoldenrod
(#EEE8AA) palegreen
(#98FB98)
paleturquoise
(#AFEEEE) palevioletred
(#DB7093) papayawhip
(#FFEFD5) peachpuff
(#FFDAB9)
peru
(#CD853F) pink
(#FFC0CB) plum
(#DDA0DD) powderblue
(#B0E0E6)
purple
(#800080) red
(#FF0000) rosybrown
(#BC8F8F) royalblue
(#4169E1)
saddlebrown
(#8B4513) salmon
(#FA8072) sandybrown
(#F4A460) seagreen
(#2E8B57)
seashell
(#FFF5EE) sienna
(#A0522D) silver
(#C0C0C0) skyblue
(#87CEEB)
slateblue
(#6A5ACD) slategray
(#708090) snow
(#FFFAFA) springgreen
(#00FF7F)
steelblue
(#4682B4) tan
(#D2B48C) teal
(#008080) thistle
(#D8BFD8)
tomato
(#FF6347) turquoise
(#40E0D0) violet
(#EE82EE) wheat
(#F5DEB3)
white
(#FFFFFF) whitesmoke
(#F5F5F5) yellow
(#FFFF00) yellowgreen
(#9ACD32)

[epimeth]

none of which, btw, are peach, pumpkin, or mauve...

there is peachpuff however...

[Elizabeth]

phplords, you are quite brave to post this thread seeing as how 2 of the moderators of the EL happen to be female. ;)

-Elizabeth

[BuzzLY]

Why is that, do you think? Is it a coincidence that the forum that depends (http://www.depend.com/) on "gossip (http://www.oprah.com/)" is moderated by 2 women and a Frenchman (who as we all know are quite feminine (http://www.obyou.com/promotions/index.jsp))? One has to wonder abou -- what? Why are you looking at me like that?

/me laughs maniacally and runs away

disclaimer: This post has been un-Børked so that I can create my own advertising. I'm hoping to make some big bucks so I never have to work again. Be sure to click on my links many many times!

[Elizabeth]

Buzz, you do realize that Bunker could kick your hiney without breaking a sweat, don't you? And speaking of, so could Daynah and I :p

/giving Buzz a head start to make things "fair"

-Elizabeth

[BuzzLY]

yéâh... my únémpløymént rúns øút søøn. Í'm høpïng tø cølléct dïsâbïlïty.

Dïd yøú clïck øn my âds? Théy'll réâlly hélp mé øút, Í thïnk.

[Weedpacket]

Originally posted by epimeth
geeks see in 16777216 colors... of which we know 140 names: The office building where I work is being repainted. We noticed it coming back from lunch one day and we were looking at the new coat going on.

"What colour is that?"

"Um, looks like #33CCFF to me."

[stolzyboy]

Originally posted by Weedpacket
"What colour is that?"

"Um, looks like #33CCFF to me."

LOL, That's when you know you are a true geek.

Last week, my boss and I were at the "Beverage Station", and a co-worker(non-programmer) was with us.

We tend to get into conversations and use computer/programming/etc... for analogies, and half the time we look over, she is just drooling like she took a whole bottle of Prozac and washed it down with Everclear

Gotta love it!

And btw, that's not a too pleasing color for a building to be!

[Weedpacket]

Originally posted by BuzzLY
moderated by 2 women and a Frenchman Ménage a trois!
Oh, sorry. Already done that one...

[Elizabeth]

#33CCFF - Nice happy shade of robin's egg blue. See you can be descriptive and still be a geek :)

And Weed, the LART can also be used for those kinds of threads too- so you better watch it fella ;)

-Elizabeth

[BuzzLY]

Älwåys rëmëmbër, thåt ïf yøü årë ïn åny sørt øf døübt åbøüt thë rülës, rëfër tø rülë #1 åbøvë. Thåt shøüld sët yøü stråïght.

[dalecosp]

Gläd tö sëë yöü'rë üp ön thë lätëst ín BS, Ëlízäbëth!!!

/më häs bëën trümpëd ägäín... ;)

[Sxooter]

Originally posted by Elizabeth
Buzz, you do realize that Bunker could kick your hiney without breaking a sweat, don't you? And speaking of, so could Daynah and I :p

/giving Buzz a head start to make things "fair"

-Elizabeth

Something tells me Buzz would much prefer to have you and Daynah do it... ;)

[Weedpacket]

Originally posted by Sxooter
Something tells me Buzz would much prefer to have you and Daynah do it... ;) Oh, geez - and I'm accused of taking threads downhill...

[epimeth]

I think we should all be ccuseds!

[stolzyboy]

Originally posted by epimeth
ccuseds

care to elaborate

[Sxooter]

Originally posted by Weedpacket
Oh, geez - and I'm accused of taking threads downhill...

I was just thinking they wouldn't prank him as hard as a guy would.

I wasn't thinking of pillow fights, painting toenails, or slumber parties. nosiree, not at all. :)

[epimeth]

Originally posted by stolzyboy
care to elaborate

be accused... the world could use more ccuseds