Click to See Complete Forum and Search --> : Qualifications: Experience in farm animals and Java


mogster
03-17-2004, 06:10 PM
Does anyone else see these wierd job-adverts, or is it just me? :D

The qualifications in full was something like "must have at least five years experience with farm animals, know Java, XML, XSLT, Asp, .NET, C#, CSS, Javascript, Flash and HTML."

How many programming farmers are there out there?
Are they gonna sneak up on us non-farming programmers and put us out of our jobs? And what counts as a farm animal? Do I put the cat in my CV?

This isn't the only example, recently I saw an ad promising GREAT opportunities for "a person with extreme skills in programming, must know Java, XML, XSLT, Asp, .NET, C, C+, C++, C#, C minus, CSS, Javascript, Flash and HTML, have extended leadership experience and ten years working experience with kids from 3-6".

Who the hell ARE these people? And where do they get the time for all this?
Anyone that has been in reasonably proximity to kids know that in-depth programming in kindergartens is close to impossible, even under the best of leadership. There's just too much noise.

Even when the language is clearly inferior, like asp and .NET, to REAL code - it's totally impossible to do for-loops properly when Bob is banging you on the head with his plastic gorilla.

I think this is all fiction in the head of the pointy-haired boss (http://www.paulgraham.com/icad.html), and he's probably the one who decides they're gonna use ASP and .NET too.

To him pIG, S.H.E.E.P, K-ID, Java, XML, XSLT, Asp, .NET, C, C+, C++, C#, C minus, CSS, Javascript, Flash and HTML is just the same: buzzwords.

And if you try to talk some sense into him, he beats you over the head with his plastic gorilla.

knutm .-)

piersk
03-17-2004, 06:16 PM
Originally posted by mogster
How many programming farmers are there out there?

You'd be surprised... (http://www.phpbuilder.com/board/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=131255)

mogster
03-17-2004, 06:22 PM
I always attach my cat these days, just in case...

mogster
03-17-2004, 06:30 PM
> You'd be surprised...

:D

knutm :-)

dalecosp
03-17-2004, 07:23 PM
Y'know guys, it may seem funny, but I haven't yet made enough $$ programming to buy any animals for the farm*... [I'm still trying to pay off the building conversion] but I do have a lot of hardware lying around... I also like to sing to the neighbor's cattle when they are nearby whilst I trudge out to the office .... :D

And, for the record: IMHO (after setting up my spam filters) the majority of sites advertising for "PHP programmers" with experience in "farm animals" aren't exactly your G-rated content providers :eek:

I do have a few clients involved in agribusiness; I'm attempting to colocate my next freebie server at the home of a cattle farmer-slash-crop insurance agent who has an HP laptop and a T1 ... :cool:

I also have dealt with at least two mult-employee software firms that write programs specifically for agribusiness; but I have my doubts as to whether they need anyone with PHP experience. Some kind of SQL, to be sure, and possibly Java, but their sites are generally *.cfm or such-like...

Ah, well....

Maybe we should discuss "programming as a second career..." which seems to be, what, an alarmingly common phenomenon?

dalecosp
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*There is a local flock of several wild turkeys if anyone is "game" (no pun intended) to hunt them ... likely the season opens anytime....

mogster
03-17-2004, 08:35 PM
Originally posted by dalecosp
Maybe we should discuss "programming as a second career..." which seems to be, what, an alarmingly common phenomenon?


That's true, and with all the mess lying around in my appartement the ad that would fit my description would be "Want to hire Webdesigner, {all the C's and XML and stuff that I know.....some of }, must be a handy guy that can get suspect scsi-disks and faulty memory to work reasonably well together - at least as long as no one opens the cd-rom. Must possess screwdrivers. Preferrably use own scsi-equiment, the older, the better. Please attach spinning device for review. And cat."

But hey, let's look at the positive side: The hard and gruelling times the past years has done a lot for the opensource community, as the dreams of fame and streetcred has replaced the plans for fast millions ;)
It is today very easy to find a solution to programming problems thanks to places like this, and all the script-sites are bulging with free scripts to dld.

Must count for something? *backslapping time*

knutm :-)

dalecosp
03-17-2004, 10:43 PM
I have gotta get my freakin' digicam working. I think a great thread here would be "Show us your workspace" or somesuch; with photo links to pics of the office --- inside, outside, whatever (maybe I could pose with a cow :D ) ....

I think that the variation would be great; plus, it'd be an opportunity for some to show off, others to be humorous, some to be their straightlaced selves; we'd see home offices, server closets, barns (at least in my case), multi-floor office buildings, underground bunkers (Bunkermaster??) etc., etc.

I guess if one of you guys has a shot, you could start it. I think the dog* may have chewed on my camera cable and ruined it :(

No, I don't raise dogs, but my son has a puppy, and we've two cats...one for the house and one for the office....