PRLOFTD v2

[piersk]

http://www.worth1000.com/cache/gallery/contestcache.asp?contest_id=2510&display=photoshop

How cool are these!

[bubblenut]

OMG, I thought it was just that page. Then I had a poke around and the whole site's full of them.

My personal favoriete
http://www.worth1000.com/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=2547&start=1&end=10&display=photoshop

I soooo want to be good at art.
Bubble

[mogster]

Hey, I didn't know they used a Heineken-can to support the slanting tower in Pizza...erm.. I mean, Pisa?

knutm :-)

[piersk]

And for today's link:

*fanfare*

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/36782.html

Microsoft's Gates dethroned as world's richest person by cheap furniture magnate

LMAO!!

It's downhill all the way now :D

[thoand]

Yeah, and like many Linux users (unfortunatly) you must switch from IKEA to some other furniture manufacture
Just because that the owner is stinkin rich ;-)

T

[bubblenut]

OOOooooh!! http://www.ex.ac.uk/Icons/Iconolog/equipage/garb/handbag.gif :D ;)

Well, I'm a Linux user but I'm not going to stop buying furniture form Ikea, beacause Ikea makes good furniture.

[piersk]

This one should probably be entitled "Blunder of the year", rather than "Link of the day":

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2207229.stm

Since when is NIS a game?

Although those who use it may think it's a joke to configure...

[piersk]

Damn I'm on top form today :p

The Exorcist in 30 seconds (http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html) (and acted out by bunnies :D :D :D

(not scary, just v v funny)

[piersk]

Ireland 1 - 419ers nil point!


http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/04/05/gardai_capture_alleged_419er/

[piersk]

Seriously, who'd be stupid enough to actually do that?? (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/04/21/asa_creative/)

[piersk]

Score one to the Open Source community!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/04/21/licence_germany/

[piersk]

http://www.olympictrans.ru/fun/img/uglyZoo/

Some of the human ones are a little scary :eek:

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by piersk
Some of the human ones are a little scary :eek: I think I dated some of those guys.

[piersk]

Ok, not really a link, but an image instead...

http://cloud.faereal.net/Pictures/Pictures/hoe.jpg

[Weedpacket]

Originally posted by piersk
Ok, not really a link, but an image instead... Yep: I'm convinced. Except I reckon Dougal's a lot higher up than anyone's letting on...

[piersk]

Two more:

http://cloud.faereal.net/Pictures/Pictures/go_microsoft.jpg
and
http://cloud.faereal.net/Pictures/Pictures/sooty%20lovestarved%20hamster.jpg

[Weedpacket]

Now that I'd never have suspected. Not Sooty. Sweep, maybe - but not Sooty.

[gordonrp]

damn now i realise how much i suck at pshop (http://gordonrpage.com/pshop.php)

cool site
gp

[piersk]

Why you should never post your picture on the Internet... (http://www.smlinks.com/sotw/why/)

[gordonrp]

ROFL!!! the first one is def the best!!
nice find.

gp

[piersk]

http://www.redvsblue.com/bloodgulch_s1.shtml

[bubblenut]

If we were in linksville (http://www.penny-arcade.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=12) I'd be screaming OOLLLLLDDDD!!!! without even having another read of it. However since we're not I had a quick flick through and found that there's a couple of new (since I last looked) ones which I hadn't seen yet, sweet :D

I can't write

[piersk]

The Infinate cat project (http://www.privatehand.com/infinite/cat-html/1.html)

:eek: :eek: :eek:IT'LL MESS WITH YOUR MIND!!!:eek: :eek: :eek:

[LordShryku]

GeekMan!!! (http://www.happyworker.com/geekman/)

His super powers include ungodly coding abilities; opposite sex repulsion; analytical reasoning; ability to create technical acronyms; less than ideal personal hygiene routine.

[piersk]

Ok, it's not really a link, but it's funny anyway:

Eight easy steps to cleaner cats:

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.

2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find and soothe cat as you carry it to bathroom.

4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids, and stand on top so cat cannot escape.

5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet as cat is enjoying this.)

6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse which is quite effective. Cat is too big to go anywhere.

7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible, and quickly lift both lids.

8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry. Cat will return when hungry.

Sincerely,

The Dog

[piersk]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. Pricks.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile b*****ds, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was. Damn! Not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez." Must learn what the Hell this is and how to
use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time...the sonuva*****.

[piersk]

Ok, be warned... a colleague and I were reading this and got some very dodgy looks when we burst out laughing...

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently
apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm-holding rear paws lightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.
Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat.
Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail.
Get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.

Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink beer to take taste away.
Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed.
Get another pill.
Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard back on hinges.
Drink beer.
Fetch bottle of scotch.
Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Apply whiskey to compress to cheek to disinfect.
Toss back another shot.
Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call the fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from the tree across road.
Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13. Tie the little b*****d's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table.
Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.
Be rough about it.
Hold head vertically and pour pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch.
Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room.
Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill remnants from right eye.
Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

[BuzzLY]

Thank you very much. I just shot Code Red through my nose. Do you know how much that burns???

[LordShryku]

Originally posted by BuzzLY
Thank you very much. I just shot Code Red through my nose. Do you know how much that burns???

Yes, I do....
But don't worry, it turns into a mild *tingling* after about an hour :D

[bubblenut]

I don't know what Code Red but I'm assuming it's some kind of chilli sauce? If that's the case all I can say is OUCH!!

[LordShryku]

Blasphemy!
http://mountaindew.com/code_red/index.php

[piersk]

Originally posted by BuzzLY
Thank you very much. I just shot Code Red through my nose. Do you know how much that burns???

Oops, sorry Buzz. I did warn you that it was funny tho :D

[LordShryku]

http://www.securityfocus.com/news/8768
Scandalous!

[piersk]

http://www.chessbase.com/newsdetail.asp?newsid=1348

Ok, I can't accept credit for this, I got it from goldbug :glare:

[BuzzLY]

OMFG. What will they think of next?

[Sgarissta]

http://www.1783.com/order/ccp51/cgi-bin/cp-app.cgi?usr=51F2404943&rnd=539779&rrc=N&affl=&cip=81.250.195.79&act=&aff=&pg=prod&ref=rew01&cat=&catstr=

Something EVERYONE needs one...or two!!! of :)

[BuzzLY]

It's about time someone came up with an automatic one. It would be nice, though, if there was a rewind option on the DVD player.

[piersk]

Nah, this (http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/) is what everyone needs: a jet powered beer cooler!! (or fru-fru drinks cooler for goldbug :D )

[BuzzLY]

Yeah... goldbug and his fru-fru drinks... lol

Of course, tonight it'll be Cafe Mochas :D

[Elizabeth]

Unless we decide to move the party "upstairs"... or to one of the bars inside (I'm thinking the irish pub might be nice... have a few killian's out on the deck...)

[BuzzLY]

Ah, yes... I forgot that now you are no longer preggo, you can be a lush again :D

[LordShryku]

You ain't sh*t if you ain't got a Furbeowulf cluster (http://www.trygve.com/furbeowulf.html)! :D

[piersk]

Colin Powell singing along with the Village People

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3876169.stm

[LordShryku]

My name is Aaron, and I'm an addict...
http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/php_suspend.html

[piersk]

http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/566.html

[edited to correct 404]

[BuzzLY]

404

[piersk]

Fixed...

[piersk]

Jaws in 30s.... acted out by bunnies... (http://www.angryalien.com/0804/jawsbunnies.asp)

[piersk]

*bump*

The Last Page Of The Internet (http://www.1112.net/lastpage.html)

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by piersk
*bump*

The Last Page Of The Internet (http://www.1112.net/lastpage.html) Cool, then, I guess my work here is done.

/me runs outside to pick wildflowers and skip in the meadow.

[piersk]

http://board.iexbeta.com/lofiversion/index.php/t47380.html

Terry Tate - Office Linebacker

[piersk]

Yey, found this thread again!

http://www.funpic.hu/en.picview.php?id=28337&c=15&s=dd&p=5

Remember kids, always use protection ;)