Definitions, a LITTLE off........

[JPnyc]

but instead, what words SOUND like they should mean. I'll get ya started:

cauterize - made eye contact with her

G.I. series - Army baseball

ennui - The catatonic state in men brought on by excessive watching of anything on "WE" (women's entertainment) cable station

Terminal illness - getting sick at the airport

Habeas Corpus - A greeting to your Greek neighbor

democrat - what you try out before buying your own crat

Con Edison - Scamming the wizard of menlo park

Pro Bono - When Sonny lost his amateur status.

[Shrike]

Aloe vera - Saying hello to Vera

Polymorphism - When a parrot changes shape

Republican - second shot as a bar tender?

:)

[JPnyc]

Ozone - The offices of the IRS.

[Soupspoon]

Polyunsaturated - a dry parrot
Polysyllabic - a parrot that knows a lot of long words
Polyfilla - a taxidermist
Polychrome - a very, very shiny parrot
Polytechnic - a school for clever parrots
Polynesia - a parrot who can't remember anything
Polyester - a cheap parrot
Polygon - an ex-parrot
Polgraph - a machine that can tell if your parrot's lying
Polymath - a parrot with a calculator
Polyphony - a parrot who uses Skype
Polytheism - a parrot who believes in a single God

[JoeBrewer]

Polymorphism - a parrot that can change shape

[bubblenut]

microphone - a very small telephone
mascepone - a masked pony
mandible - a tool for planting seeds or bulbs in men
refactor - an actor who specializes in referees
aggregator - an irritable lizard

[bubblenut]

Philosophy - The study of Philip
Theology - The study of Theo
Comp. Sci. - The study of how to sit at a desk all day yet do no work.

[Soupspoon]

Remarkable - a ball that makes pithy comments
Remember - to join again
Remonstrate - to tell someone off for going on a demo
Remorse - to watch the repeats of Inspector Morse
Remorseless - to discover the repeats of Inspector Morse were on yesterday
Remorseful - Sick to death of all the Inspector Morse repeats
Remote - a very small piece of dust seen from a very long way away
Repartee - being witty while playing golf
Reposses - shoplift
Repository - a re-useable suppository
Prognosis - nasal pregnancy
Propaganda - a professional goose
Propane - definitely in favour of windows
Propellant - the act of flicking a small insect off your picnic lunch
Prostrate - having a lay down because your bladder's hurting
Quarterstaff - planning large-scale redundancies
Sentiment - emotional mud

[Weedpacket]

Conscript - planning for a hustle

[Shrike]

Exfoliate - systematic destruction of the rain forests.

[Soupspoon]

Probity - a very fiddly probe
Pristine - a murderous car (but in perfect condition)
Sticky - very like a stick
Purloin - to steal a side of beef
Scribble - to drool on something you've just written
Seduce - to get Mussolini into bed
Seismograph - a mchine that can tell your height
Sequester - the Italian version of the FBI
Electroplate - a flat dish that doesn't need batteries
Eminence - former rap artist who became a Cardinal
Embezzle - to stir a drink frantically
Espadrille - little-known language used in Western Spain
Flagellation - to perform semaphore for sexual gratification
Frippery - unnecessary small blue butterfly

[Weedpacket]

pharmaceuticals - so when I'm there, I ask her for one

[Merve]

antimony - a support payment made by a divorced ant
manumission - the duty of the Manchester United soccer team (seek, kill, destroy :D)